Thursday, September 22, 2011

Ah, video it so wrong?

      I have been thinking back to the awesome days of videos. Back when super hot chicks were used like set pieces and everything was on fire. It doesn't get more fucking bad ass than a video with hot women doing pseudo obscene things, well, as obscene as you could on T.V in those days. I think the censoring bureau might have been run by one really mean priest...with no pants. 

 Or maybe Jesus sat in with Nielsen families...with no pants. 

      We haven't gotten much further as far as watching tits and dick through thinly veiled attempts at nudity. I suppose we're all brainless children who become insta-rapists at the sight of "boobs and pee-pee's" Ah, censorship...the great rebellion maker. Reminiscing aside. I miss a lot of those music videos. A lot of them were good meat beating material but, a lot were just neat to watch...visually. The stuff that gave you a boner was alright don't get me wrong...well, not alright...just plain fucking awesome, but, still. There were some non-bonerific videos that just blew me away. Huhuh...blew. As in job! I'm retarded...sorry. Anyway, I thought it might be neat to talk about a few of them and maybe show people shit that they might not have seen, if it weren't for my dumb ass inability to let my t.v. drenched past go. 

Unkle - "Rabbit In Your Headlights"

Just watch...and cringe.

   It's an oldie, as are all of these. Sorry to get your hopes up, if you're looking for Justin Beiber, you came to the wrong site. This one isn't gay for teenie boppers! Not the male one's anyway. Anyway, it's Unkle, doing "Rabbit In Your Headlights". For you blissfully ignorant and oh, so retarded few, Unkle is a UK "trip-hop" group that formed in the 90's. It's basically, techno, so, don't hurt your brain trying to figure out what "trip hop" is. The singer is the one and only Thom Yorke of Radiohead. It think this was like a Thom Yorke cameo song. Which, I don't have to awesome. I like this video mainly because it's so unexpected. A guy getting hit by a car a bunch of times is really fucked up...but, also just fucking a sick way. It's very unnerving and it makes you wonder...what the fuck is with that fucking, fucker? Until the find out...maybe he's not so...un-bad ass after all. I almost pee-pee every time I see it. 

Wax - "California"


      I never got into this band and I could never figure out why. The song is awesome. The music sounds like something I listened to back then...hell, even now. It makes you want to break shit, maybe? I don't know. It reminds me of being a teeny and sexually frustrated. Break shit, right? It was that or whack off...which I did a lot of anyway. In between I think I broke things and watched videos like this. I remember this being a big deal for a week on MTV back when they actually played music videos and Kurt Loder owned MTV News. I believe this was the second take of the's all one shot and it was done in like 30 seconds. Which, if you watch the shit...the guy is on fire. 30 seconds seems like an eternity when your balls are being baked by flames. Well, I imagine...I'm not setting my balls on fire to find out. 

Semisonic - "Closing Time"

Yeah, I, right? 
Well, fuck yourself for thinking that...okay, maybe it is a little. 

      Don't hate me because shit bands occasionally make cool videos. It might seem like a normal everyday bullshit video. I'd have to agree with you about a point, but, what I found interesting about it was that it's two cameras doing one continuous take, then, meeting up at the end. You know how much shit has to go right in order for that to happen? That means no fucked up lip syncs, no tripping on shit, no falling over shit, no, "Oh my dick was hanging out the whole time" on two two the same time. If any of that shit happened...they'd have to reset two locations. The timing has to be spot on. It's crazy once you realize that there are no cut-aways on either camera. Who cares? Well, fuck you! You did some awesome hard shit at work yesterday? Really? Meh, who cares. Feel good? No? Then, take time to enjoy someone else's job well done. Pussy. 

Radiohead - "Street Spirit (Fade Out)

Everything looks better in slow motion...and black and white. 

    Oh, Radiohead. They are to put it mildly...great. I am a bit biased toward them. I think they are awesome. Though, I didn't think that when I first saw this video. I wasn't really into the shit, like I am now. I thought they were a bunch of Euro-fags who got lucky with that guitar "kachucka-chucka" thing in Creep. So, back when this came out, I was seriously in full on "fuck the English bands" hate mode. Little did I know the crazy, bizarre weirdness that I now love, was just beneath their ghostly English white boy veneer. I was captivated by this video though, I couldn't stop watching it when it first came out. I still can't. 

Jackson C. Frank - "Dialogue" 
(from the ending of Electroma

I never thought fire consuming a person could look so...awesome.

      Last, but, certainly not least. Jackson C. Frank's Dialogue. This isn't an official video of course, but, the song fits the visual so well, it should be. The video is actually the ending of the  Daft Punk movie called "Electroma". It's a crazy movie about robots. I'd recommend it to long as you're intoxicated during viewing. You might get it straight, but, why cheat yourself? Get trashed...let the movie be your excuse, instead of your children or that neighbor's dog that keeps talking to you. This is the end of the movie and it plays fine without the context of the film. Shit, even knowing the ending of the fucking might not get it anyway. This video just pairs so exquisitely with the song, it's a beautiful thing. It's simple, but, mesmerizing. I think you'll like it. 

Now, I'm off to fits of graceless slumber. I hope you enjoy the show. If not...well, blow me. Seriously. I heard you're good. No teeth or anything. That's a pretty unique quality. I'd pay you, but, I heard you only take dog treats. I'm fresh out. Freebie? 

I'm kidding. Really. I hope you do like them. 

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