Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Elton and His Rosetta Stone

      Via means I don't wish to discuss, unless you wish to acquire it as well, then message me, I have Rosetta Stone. Holy fuck...that was all in one breath. PHEW! Okay, so, I have decided to learn Spanish first. I have tried to learn it on a previous occasion, but, due to...being employed and living off the sweet tit of Autozone, I never had the time. Low and behold, now I have loads of time. So, I'm going to learn as many languages as I can, so as to better acclimate myself to our ever changing...country?

The U.S. - It's not just for white folks any more!

      Changing as it is, I'm not doing it out of sheer boredom entirely or even for work, though it does help to speak or at least understand Spanish. I'm doing it for bragging rights. Yeah, you heard me. Better yet, I'm going to do it...and keep it to myself! That's right,  I'm going to inch my way through Spanish lessons, just to say I did and then keep it to myself. You know what else? I'm going to inch my way through French too! Just to be a multi-lingual, undercover douche' bag. 

Psst, I know how to say "blow me" in 7 languages. So,...blow me.

      No, but, I am going to learn a couple more. Not for bragging because really...who the fuck would brag about that? If you're going to brag, brag about saving kids from a burning orphanage or defending nuns from a roving gang of devil worshiping Nazis. Keep the fucking languages to yourself, Emil Krebs. Until you need to use them of course, then, what's the point of learning the shit. I'm going to attempt to learn different languages because, more or less...I suck at killing time. It's just that I'm not really built for too many other...reasonable past times. I don't have the money to collect the things I want (i.e. guitars, cars, houses, Indochinese children to raise as a personal ninja army). I play video games REALLY sporadically, so, I'm not a gamer. I don't drink...a lot (the hangovers just kill me, oh and I have a tendency to hunt homeless people for sport when drunk.). Masturbating can only fill so many hours, then what? Languages. 

See, learning languages are a lot like playing with balls!

     So, my first foray into learning a language is Spanish. A lot of people speak it and being bilingual in that sense comes in handy, job wise, I suppose. I just figured if I'm every going to be stanky rich and famous, I'd have to talk to my gardener somehow. OH! SNAP! Man, oh, man. What a fuck face I am. Shit, with the state of our economy, I might need to speak it so I can ask my boss how he wants his roses pruned

Where do you want this shit, Ese?

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