Re-post My Internet Rage!

      I was going to write a nifty post about the joys of Valentine's Day, but, due to the high volume of unprotected sex I was having with farm animals, at gun point, I wasn't able to write one. Oh, those crazy situations I pay to get wrapped up in...oh boy. Besides, a funny English guy did it better than I could anyway. Instead, I wanted to fling a few subtle, tasty words at blind following and fucking ignorance. The kind of shit you find bandied around in everyday life...everyday. Especially your internet life. It sounds more horrific than it is...and way, way more fun.

"What?", expresses the overly white man.

      In this day and age, a time when the internet can be found on computers, in cars and inches from your testicles (or birth canal), it's incredible how rarely it is used to find accurate information. Instead, blindly posted or re-posted shit that appeals to a poster's sense of "right or wrong", gets sent to gazillions of people, everyday. 

      Whatever seems to ring true for someone's particular slant is sent on to others, filling their lives with ceaseless diatribes about how the troops are getting "fucked over" by the government (i.e the man) or how instead of researching important stuff like A.I.D.S., we spend BILLIONS on left handed pencils...or monkeys humping basketballs. 

      This of course escalates rage fits and causes BILLIONS of dollars of embarrassing pee pee stains in pants...or something. The biggest offenders are social media sites. Fucking Facebook. It can be funny at times and disconcerting at others.

      Most of the time it's harmless, some chick has cancer and she needs prayers. That's fine. It's sad that, instead of blindly re-posting it, you could have looked her up, to find she died years ago and you're perpetuating a worthless plea. Maybe you could find someone who really could use prayers. Still, what's the harm anyway, right? Who couldn't use prayers?

This is what Google thinks when you

 search for "I can't use prayers". 

Thanks again Google. 

      The re-posted shit that twists my nipples, are the politico, fuck our government sort. It's filled with distended, torqued and abused misinformation. It's usually about how the government is fucking someone over. Some valiant form of working class (insert heroic job title here), WHILST the government scoffs at their plights and over pays itself instead. Basically, the horseshit Snopes.com de-bunks daily with facts. Still, the misinformation lives on. Why? We're on the porn-formation super highway. Take a second to look some shit up! Be curious.

You should have seen the night mare 

Google spit out for "bi-curious". 

I threw up in my mouth a little. 

      Alas, it's easier to simply read, say, "Hey, that sounds right! The fucking pricks." and pass it on to the rest of everyone. It's hilarious at times. Will anyone ever get over Obama being born a citizen? Probably not. It's easier to think that a man named Barack was born on a terrorist breeding ground, breast fed on bullets and hatred of America, rather than to actual Americans. 

      Who the hell would name their kid Barack? Well, other than parents with either Swahili heritage or an interest in it. Barack, is an anglicized version of Baraka, which means "blessing". How about that. 

      So, take note avid internet viewer person. Things on the internet aren't always what they seem. People are sometimes stupid, dishonest, misinformational spewing bastards (usually with mullets). Don't leap blindly on a band wagon! Use the world wide web for something other than Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook and anal bead price checking. When you see something that looks patriotic and includes a list of facts. Check them out. Why not? What else are you doing, right? Well, besides rummaging around in your pants for...change? Oh god.  

Fuck I Love Hate!

      I looove hateful people. All those extra O's are for all the extra love. I'm a giver. A giver of extra "O" love. Hateful people allow me to believe I am a decent and good person. Without hateful people, I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror. Not without sobbing uncontrollably and possibly urinating on myself in self deprecation. Luckily, episodes where those things do happen, are confined to the moment after the morning shit and tooth brushing.

The floaties are in case I cry a river.

      I can make it through my day, in large part, knowing that there are high profile, hate mongers trudging their way through the same world, I muck through. Their existence allows me to breath easy. Knowing that any hate I throw out into the world, is tiny in comparison to those bunch of walking rectal irritants. I love/hate epic hate peddlers like...

Ann Coulter

It's like she's burning your soul out with those eyes. Yikes.

      Ann Coulter is a right wing, lawyer pigeon from outer space. She's got pushes out more BTU's of hot political insanity, than an Ecstasy fueled political science co-ed. This bitch is crazy. Ugly, hate crazy. She hates Muslims, gays, liberals, freedom, intelligence, facts, sense, peace, style, poise, grace and I'm pretty sure living kittens. She is a bona fide lady lump of bat shit insanity with a book deal. I love her because when I want to feel argumentative, patriotic and right, which I do a lot. I watch this dumb bitch talk. She's a bucket of anger fueled stupidity with titties. Fugly titties. Watching this retarded chick ramble on about whatever controversial subject matter conservatives hate this week is a joy. Whether it's abortion, terrorists, prayer in school or book burning this vapid blonde has a statement. An obviously moronic hate slanted opinion, you might find yourself amazed hasn't gotten her beat to death yet. She's Rush Limbaugh with a pussy and just as attractive. What you might not understand is that this is how she makes money. She says outlandish shit so that she can sell her books that have equally outlandish shit in it. That is the only real reason for her hate bullshit. It's her schtick. If not, then, she's in the short line for a serious car bombing. 

Fox News

      These fuckin' guys. Holy shit. They spout hate laced non-facts like an anger lie chucking lawn sprinkler. Then, after riddling the ground with sloppy shit talk, they don't even don't apologize for the mess. When they're abso-fuckin'-lutely, cato-fuckin'-strophically wrong, it's not their fault, it's everyone else's. It's basically the same shit Ann Coulter does except it's calling itself a news network. The most vile nonsensical politicizing shit they can get away with is on this channel 24/7. None of it's actual news. It's more like, fitful angry ranting by conservative white guys. Let me clarify. Imagine we time warped back to post civil war America. We invent the t.v. We set up the standard networks, including: Cartoon Network, CSPAN, Food Network and a few of those naughty channels involving obscene things with farm equipment. The one's you don't rent, but, kinda do "just to see". Now, if large communities/groups all got their own representative channel (ala BET), Fox News would be the disgruntled white plantation owners network. Though, they aren't blatant about it, Fox News likes to spread bullshit around like a televangelist spreading donation banter. Normally, I view Fox News with a morbid curiosity, as I do most U.S. news networks. Most seem to have picked a side in the great Democrat, Republican idiocy war. I wouldn't normally care, if it wasn't for the fact that they still call themselves "news" networks. They are to news what an "escort" is to hooking. The escorts say they're just payed to attend a party with you, even while they're sucking your dick hooker style. I like Fox News because they demonstrate,on a regular basis, that there's a large majority of people that watch this bullshit. Why would I like that? Because knowing those people exist and watch that shit, makes me feel smarter than those people. How can you NOT like that?

Nutty Rich People

Yaaaay! I almost own everything!

      Okay, maybe hateful is a strong word for this group of people. I mean, if it wasn't for we slaving lower and middle class, they wouldn't have any money. Why the hate, right? Well, perhaps it's not hate, but, discriminatory...in who to kill. Apparently there are a couple of really rich bastards (Ted Turner and Bill Gates to name a couple), that believe the world would run a lot smoother, with a lot less of air breathers on it. Be it through extraneous vaccinations or just plain whackin' a large swath of people, these rich pricks are down for thinning out the lower end. Where do they get off, right? Well, they get off with a lot of fucking money. Bill Gates uses his Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation to buy vaccinations for poor people in third world countries. This is in hopes that the vaccinations will some how turn their immune systems into overused junk, much like a well worn prostitute. So, when the next real pants shitting, pandemic comes round, those people will be ripe for the dying. The idea behind the vaccinations and the killing of less desirable people falls back to something called eugenics. It's the idea that less is more. Cut out the "less than ideal" population and the smarter "ideal" people can thrive. Who are the "ideal"? You guessed it...rich people. I think it's great when crazy people are rich and full of moronic ideas. It goes to show that even high up on the monetary chain...there are still complete fucking idiots. So, I don't feel so bad. 

I'd like to go on record as saying, 

"Killing anyone that isn't me is perfectly fine with me."