Friday, September 30, 2011

Andy Warhol, an Indian and a Cabin Boy

      Andy, fucking, Warhol. When I think of Andy Warhol, I think of Marilyn Monroe getting fucked by a Campbell's Soup Can. What? You don't? Ah, potatoe, potahto. I have been thinking about his art a lot lately. Even more so about the man himself. This is due, in large part, to my reading a book entitled, Famous for 15 Minutes. My Years With Andy Warhol,  while taking a dump. Also due to it being 50...ish years since he went from commercial illustrator to silk screening icon. I have always liked Andy Warhol. He's the original geek, artsy, freak, smart ass...guy. People either get what he was all about or they don't. Or they pretend they do, by saying he was doing something deep and cerebral in his work. Which, I think is an artsy, fuck wad, uppity way of saying...I have no fuckin' clue, but, I don't want to look stupid. A lot of people just call him a ghost faced, pretentious prick who made a career out of copying other people's art.

Pale face who made painting pretentious copy cat prick...How?

      Ah, well, yes...and no. True, he did reproduce a lot of already made imagery but, he did apply some artistry to his picking of images, painting, display, etc. He didn't just take a label off something and slap it on a wall...all the time. What fascinates me the most about him is the fact that he never lied about what he was doing. He never made it out to be any more than mass produced commercialized imagery. He had a great eye for the cool images and he knew how to apply paint to canvas in an artistic way, that was it. Shit, I think I even gave him too much credit with THAT. He probably would have agreed. He never created any goofy "statements" or "concepts", he just let everyone around him apply whatever message they wanted to his shit. He just found an angle nobody worked before and he worked a two dollar Cambodian cabin boy. Bravo, Andy Warhol, you brilliant homosexed fuckin' bastard!

Let me take a picture of your know...for art.

      Don't get me wrong. I like his work. I just find it over the top bad ass, that an artist...who barely said anything to anyone got away with basically printing his own money. Warhol used to give paintings away in exchange for shit, clothes, food, contract killing. That last one may be stretching it. No artist before him got away with not giving a flying shit...more...than Andy Warhol. The man was, in my opinion, genius. Not in what he painted, but, in his whole idea of packaging. At first, everyone was like...what the fuck are you selling us Andy? It's a fucking Cambell's Soup Can or it's just a fucking box of Brillo. He didn't explain it really, so, they filled it all in for him. They sold it all for him. Later, the man didn't even that! He could have slapped his dick against a window pane and then charged people to look at it. I mean, what the fuck. Do you understand how AWESOME that is? I slap my dick against my window, every day. The most I get is, "Elton. Did you notice there's a dick shaped spot on your window?". THAT'S IT! Not one person has offered me a dime for it. Believe me I've asked.

What if I slapped muh dick on Jello? 
There's always room for Jello.

      Andy Warhol went from being a commercial illustrator, to pop art painter,  to..just being Andy "You'd Buy Your OWN Ass If I Signed It!" Warhol. Can you imagine totally making a living out of People paying you insane amounts of money to do...whatever it is you do...all the time. Well, he fucking did...and did it well. Shit...LOOK...

I'm start over. I just quit giving a fuck.

      That was way at the beginning of his pop art spree. He didn't bullshit. Andy Warhol did what any artist does, he took something he thought was neat, re-packaged it in a way he thought was neat and that was it. The world happened to think it all had some deeper meaning than that. They were willing to shell out a shit load of money for it. Would you tell them different? Me either but, shit...right there, he tells the world anyway...or at least some nobody chick, from some nowhere t.v. station in...Canada? There's art critics in Canada? Fuck there's ART in Canada? I call bull shit on that.

Huh. Well, look at that...Canadian art. I'LL TAKE IT!

      Andy Warhol was great because he sold everybody on the concept,  that shit you see everyday can be made beautiful and cool. That's not such a bad thing, really. He also sold us on the thought that, though we're all the same, we're all different too and should be seen as equally beautiful. There wasn't just the ONE Marilyn painting. He made many. Why? Because even though they're fundamentally the same, they're all beautiful in their own way. Again, not a bad thing at all. At the end of his run, when Andy was making money at just being Andy, he sold us on the idea that everyone is unusual and should be recognized and celebrated for who they are, not what they do. For me, these ideas are more valuable than any Andy Warhol painting. On that, I'm sure he would have agreed. Besides...he just copied someone else's bull shit anyway. The fucker.

I'd buy it.

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