Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Women's "Nice Guy" Double Standard

      This is going to make a lot of people mad. Well, women mostly, so, I'm sorry in advance. There seems to be a double standard floating around, that on the surface is cut and dry. Men are doggish, pussy hounds with little regard for the feelings of others. Meanwhile, women await sheepishly for the "right guy" to happen along, all the while be trashed by shit head men.

      While the guy part, might be partly true for a lot of ecstasy abusing club going fellas, it is not true for all men. The women's aspect is also equally flawed. Oh, I can hear the dull roar rising now. Angry masses lighting torches and sharpening pitch forks...if that is what you do with a pitchfork. It's tough when our standards are reflected back at us, with the horrific mirror of logic. We tend to cry/whine a lot, but, on the inside, a burning nugget of molten truth is deposited. This truth will do one of two things, Turns both sides are complete clueless fuck ups, just like the other.

Average fuck up. 

      The double standard, I have found, is one that women impose regarding attraction. You know the ol' "guys are mostly assholes that only want to slap ass with super model women with big tits, nice asses and no brains" bullshit. While, some of that is true, most of it isn't. 

      There is this notion that men, as a general rule, walk through life, cock in hand, using it like a divining rod to determine their relationships with women ( otherwise known as "casual cock out Saturday"). Meanwhile, women, sitting aloof, are above such petty sexualizing...or..."cock thinking" and moan about how they are objectified by douche bag guys. Somehow, women's needs are outweighed by man's desire for tits and ass. All they want is a decent relationship with a nice guy. Right? Right?...right? Ah...sorry, ladies. I call bullshit. Big steamy, bullshit.

What the fuck?!

      Oh, don't get your thong knotted up and your face all...uglied. I think it's high time the open palm slap of reality hit you square in your women testicles. Not that you'd have nuts, but, get the idea. Women for the longest time have run this "woe is me" line and it's gotten tired. The "guys are unfeeling, sex hungry fuck heads who are just looking to hurt feelings in the hard core hunt for pussy" thing is ridiculous and has to stop. Though, there are guys like that, not all guys are THAT guy. THAT guy is a slim and small minority...that seems to have migrated in large numbers to New Jersey and turned orange. they're all jaundiced pricks.

      The sad fact of the matter is that, the very thing women complain about, is the exact thing they're doing themselves. Yeah, you heard me. Women are unfeeling sex hungry fuck heads, just as much as guys are. Oh, scoff all you want, deep down inside, you know what's up. Women want hot guys just as much as men want hot women, with one exception...guys are terrible at lying to ourselves. Sure, we try. 

      We hide our porno (poorly), tell you that we recorded the Shake Weight ad because we couldn't remember the number and that Britney Spears is trending on You Tube because of her awesome singing abilities. Holy shit, do women have us beat though. Women have managed to openly lust, while making men feel bad about it. I'd applaud like crazy, if my other hand wasn't rummaging around in my pants, while thinking about hot naked chicks. 


      Women sexually objectify guys just as much as any man has. Yeah, hiding behind the charade of "I just want a nice, decent guy to love me." sounds good on the surface, until you break it down to what it really means. Women want a "nice, decent guy to love them"...that looks like this...

Also likes: Sex In The City, bench pressing things and fulfilling needs.

      How many guys, like that, are there in the cold, dark, dirty real world? None. Well, that's a little harsh, there might be a small number huddled in a cave somewhere, surviving on Aeropostale hoodies and tears. Yet, this is the imaginary guy that a lot of women pine for. The real decent, nice guys that would love them, look more like this...

I fart in my sleep...a lot.

      Do women want that guy? Probably not. This guy has probably been passed up by those same women looking for a decent, loving, trustworthy guy, but, there he sits...alone. Why? He might be exactly what they want: trust worthy, honest, loving, etc. A guy like that, doesn't cheat because, chances are, he's happy with someone loving him back. Though, I'm sure he's still a porn monger. That's a whole other article. Average, nice guys don't stray, yet, they go on...alone.Why is that? Because women who bitch about never finding the right guy, usually want to hold out for the full package. Which that guy is not. When they finally settle on someone, it's partly for looks and trading in "decent" for "douche' bag". 

      Look, I can sympathize with how hard it is to find a decent person to have a relationship with. If I wasn't drugging my fiancee on a daily basis, I'd even say it was hard work. Thanks to the miracle of modern pharmaceuticals, I won't have to worry about that for at least six years (it's when she's due to come out of the drug induced coma). By the time she's self aware, we'll be happily ensnared in marital bliss. I can only imagine the blood curdling screams, the day she rolls over and realizes the overweight mistake lying next to her is now legally bound to her. Ouch. 

I'm going to kill him in his sleep and sell his innards.

      Finding the right person is hard fucking work. Unfortunately, that might mean running into a lot of assholes along the way. Slapping generalizations of shallow sexual idiocy on the group you're hoping to find your mate in, isn't helping your cause. Instead of complaining about how EVERY guy is a jerk off, maybe it's time to re-evaluate what guys you're choosing to court. I'm thinking that when you do, you'll find a lot less fuck heads and a lot more nice guys.


  1. Damn. Couldn't have said it better myself. It's like those girls who say, "All guys are assholes" never think to evalute themselves to realize that they are actually the problem. Bah, as is tradition though.

  2. Indeed. My that one day, we will all wake up and find the one that was meant for us, sleeping soundly by our side. Unfortunately, that person will look like Don Rickles. It has to balance out somewhere.


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