Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Oh, Cruel Internet Blog Shit!

      I find myself firmly lodged in between two worlds, the tech-savvy world of coding, it's related shit and the "what the fucking fuck is going on?!" world. Once in a while this notion comes around again, slapping me full force on the face, like so many short changed hookers have done in the past. It's a hopeless kind of feeling. I would cry about it, but, I only cry for skinned knees, the ending of Saving Private Ryan and ball slapping.

Foot to ball slapping...it's a bonding experience.

      My conundrum is over whether to use Word Press to blog or stick with Blog Spot. I've done a lot of research on the topic and I still find myself knowing less than shit. It's all very disheartening. One one hand, I want a unique look for my brand of dick jokes and herpes related humor, on the other hand, I'm cheap. Cheap booze, cheap gas, cheap back alley dental surgery, all are fine in my book. Blogger is cheap...due to it's freeness. Word Press is an open source blogging...thing, but, it needs to be hosted, which will cost money. Money I would rather spend on cheap sex and back alley dental surgery.  

I learned to dentist in prison. Open wide.

      There are advantages to having a Word Press blog though. A Word Press blog looks more professional. There are thousands of templates, so, your blog doesn't look like every other bastard who blogs about their toe fungus and how they never get laid. A Word Press blog looks more like...CNN.com...while talking about never getting laid. This appeals to me on a entrepreneurial level. I would love to make a living doing something creative, such as blogging. A Word Press facade might go a long way toward legitimizing my cranky, shit fetish based drivel as a solid business model.

I can turn most of what you see here...
into a poop and dick comedic extravaganza. 
Money please?

      A professional look projects competence, solidity and structure, all of which I lack. Blogger is nifty, but, in some ways, it has a "beginner blog" feel. Kind of like AOL was when the internet was shat into creation. AOL was a good "training wheel" internet service, before a user grew balls and figured out the actual internet wouldn't kill them.

TURN AROU-ah you know what just die.

      The upgrade wouldn't be so bad, if it didn't seem like a waste of money or learning curve disaster. I'm an absolute idiot when faced with new information. I often fight the urge to scream at it, slap blindly at it and try very hard to whallop it with a blunt object (Preferably a stick of some sort). I would have to re-learn a whole new set of tools and want not. It's a pain in the dick. A huge pain in the dick. A huge pain in my huge dick. Dammit. I'm making more of it than I should, I know. I can hock a lot of cool shit if I had a hosted blog. My homemade wooden dildo enterprise might finally get an internet presence. Oh, and people might look at my blog and think. "OOoooo...fancy". Which, is the exact impression I've always wanted to make. 

Thanks again, Google, for turning the word "fancy" into an ass shot.

      So, here on the fence I sit, uncomfortable as ever. Blogger: free and easily understood, Word Press: costs money, don't know shit about it. Yet, Blogger: boring, "training wheel" horseshit, Word Press: unique, fancy. The debate rages within, alongside the bourbon and Chex Mix. Maybe you have some suggestions, lone internet reader/viewer? Let me know, because I don't know shit about shit. Unless you have questions on how to NOT get your genitals caught in elevator doors then I can...nope, no I've done that too. It hurt. You're fucked...sorry.


  1. Inevitably, it's up to you. Personally, I'd stick with Blogger, but I would say that being a Blogger user and all. It's free and easy, like my "no pants Thursdays" idea that the boss keeps vetoing.

  2. Hahahahahahahaha. Thanks. This made me laugh!!!
    BTW, don't listen to Addman with is ideas like "no pants Thursdays." If you have already got your genitals caught in elevator doors, you need to keep your pants ON.

  3. I was thinking of moving to Word Press, but then I remembered my extreme lack of technological knowledge would be even more visible so I stayed with Blogger. But, if I were to ever transfer over to Word Press, would my posts still be correctly dated, and will my followers still be subscibed? I know I sound retarded, but I have no shame.

  4. I believe that subscribers and such would remain the same, you'd just have to put all the code shit in. Er...something. I'm going off of skimmed research viewed through many shots of whipped cream flavored vodka. It's the choice of the new generation.


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