I was going to write a nifty post about the joys of Valentine's Day, but, due to the high volume of unprotected sex I was having with farm animals, at gun point, I wasn't able to write one. Oh, those crazy situations I pay to get wrapped up in...oh boy. Besides, a funny English guy did it better than I could anyway. Instead, I wanted to fling a few subtle, tasty words at blind following and fucking ignorance. The kind of shit you find bandied around in everyday life...everyday. Especially your internet life. It sounds more horrific than it is...and way, way more fun.
"What?", expresses the overly white man.
In this day and age, a time when the internet can be found on computers, in cars and inches from your testicles (or birth canal), it's incredible how rarely it is used to find accurate information. Instead, blindly posted or re-posted shit that appeals to a poster's sense of "right or wrong", gets sent to gazillions of people, everyday.
Whatever seems to ring true for someone's particular slant is sent on to others, filling their lives with ceaseless diatribes about how the troops are getting "fucked over" by the government (i.e the man) or how instead of researching important stuff like A.I.D.S., we spend BILLIONS on left handed pencils...or monkeys humping basketballs.
This of course escalates rage fits and causes BILLIONS of dollars of embarrassing pee pee stains in pants...or something. The biggest offenders are social media sites. Fucking Facebook. It can be funny at times and disconcerting at others.
Most of the time it's harmless, some chick has cancer and she needs prayers. That's fine. It's sad that, instead of blindly re-posting it, you could have looked her up, to find she died years ago and you're perpetuating a worthless plea. Maybe you could find someone who really could use prayers. Still, what's the harm anyway, right? Who couldn't use prayers?
This is what Google thinks when you
search for "I can't use prayers".
Thanks again Google.
The re-posted shit that twists my nipples, are the politico, fuck our government sort. It's filled with distended, torqued and abused misinformation. It's usually about how the government is fucking someone over. Some valiant form of working class (insert heroic job title here), WHILST the government scoffs at their plights and over pays itself instead. Basically, the horseshit Snopes.com de-bunks daily with facts. Still, the misinformation lives on. Why? We're on the porn-formation super highway. Take a second to look some shit up! Be curious.
You should have seen the night mare
Google spit out for "bi-curious".
I threw up in my mouth a little.
Alas, it's easier to simply read, say, "Hey, that sounds right! The fucking pricks." and pass it on to the rest of everyone. It's hilarious at times. Will anyone ever get over Obama being born a citizen? Probably not. It's easier to think that a man named Barack was born on a terrorist breeding ground, breast fed on bullets and hatred of America, rather than to actual Americans.
Who the hell would name their kid Barack? Well, other than parents with either Swahili heritage or an interest in it. Barack, is an anglicized version of Baraka, which means "blessing". How about that.
So, take note avid internet viewer person. Things on the internet aren't always what they seem. People are sometimes stupid, dishonest, misinformational spewing bastards (usually with mullets). Don't leap blindly on a band wagon! Use the world wide web for something other than Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook and anal bead price checking. When you see something that looks patriotic and includes a list of facts. Check them out. Why not? What else are you doing, right? Well, besides rummaging around in your pants for...change? Oh god.