Donald Trump For President? or "How An Idiot Got This Far And Why We Should Stop Him"

      Lately I've been trying to put a novel together.  It's supposed to be a funny, controversial religious story that mentions penises way more than any book rightfully should.  It just seems like a story that was begging to be told.  So far, it's going semi-well.  There are times when I'm overwhelmed, want to peel my face off and drink my own piss than write something, but alas, I feel I'll prevail.  Then, I can enter the hallowed halls of novelists that never sold a word.

I'll put up a few chapters of it when I feel it's not complete garbage.  That's not what this is all about however.  It's just what I've been doing during the time that this happened...

(Google says that every picture looks like this.)

What the fuck, America?  Did you drink gasoline while falling stairs or something?  What in the fucking fuck happened here?  I mean, I drop out for a bit, left you alone and this fucking guy happens?  You didn't have to go and do this..  Is this your way of getting back at me?  One of those by hitting yourself in the head, you make me feel bad, kind of things...except...with a baseball bat made of stupid?

Why are you letting this dip shit speak speak any word further than "You're fired!" on a show no one cares about?  Why is he allowed to fondle podiums and wince/smile during debates?  And you're letting him do what?  Run for President of The United fucking States of all things.  You should be ashamed of yourselves.  So ashamed you should be sobbing.  To let a travesty like this happen, you should be crying and saying sorry.  Seriously.

(sigh)  I...I get it, United States.  Well, not ALL of the United States but, SOME of the U.S.  (I think we know who I'm talking about.)  I'm going to go a little 'V for Vendetta' here and say: "I know why you did it.  I know you were afraid." , but fuck nuts in a hand basket, US of A.  Did you have to let a functionally retarded inheritance baby get this far?  I mean, I'm kind of proud that everyone didn't fall for the Jeb Bush set up.  I mean, they OBVIOUSLY wanted him to be the nominee.  Why else would they put him between two wack jobs like Cruz and Trump on a stage?  I thought flanking that laugh riot with the obligatory white woman and black man (Carly Fiorina and Ben Carson) to show how "diverse" they were was a nice touch.  I digress...

What the fuck, America?!

By letting this Trump shit bag this far in...(sigh), you're only going to encourage his ilk to try this dumb shit again.  With this guy, it won't be long before he's tossing catch phrases at people who can ACTUALLY affect your way of life and bomb the ever lovin' fuck out of it.

 

There is still time to turn back

Alright, let's try talking you back to sanity...and maybe make America great again...

Let's talk about where it all went goofy...okay?  I promise, we won't go back that far...

The Gipper Screwed Us

 

Yep.  Fucked us pretty hard he did...and without a touch of lube. Ouch.

      I know that doddering old fella looked harmless, but with his "supply-side economics" (or "Reaganomics"), he set us on a course for shoeless summers and breadless winters.  Though not all of us, mind you, just the poor...and middle class...and anyone who doesn't already have millions of dollars.  His "voodoo economics" so unbalanced the budget that he created a multi-trillion dollar debt legacy: e.g. $1,763,884,000,000 in his 8 years, $1,469,243,000,000 in Bush’s, totaling $3.2 trillion (a 346% increase from the $934,073,000,000 debt left by President Carter to Reagan)

Yep, the Ronald and his crew threw their pee-pee in the middle-class's/poor's backside and rode it to Trickle Down Town, stripping the lower classes of reasonable healthcare, education, worker's rights and upward mobility along the way, bless his dumb assed heart.  He was only a snitch actor who helped Joseph Mccarthy accuse people of being communist.  He didn't know any better.

Oh...and this guy

 

If only you knew what your son was going to do. Yeesh.

No new taxes horseshit and trashing bi-partisanship?  Failed at preventing a Kuwait invasion and...added $1,042,000,000,000 to the U.S. debt.  What a shit head.

Cum again?

Billy boy help set the stage by screwing us out of Glass Steagall that lead to an economic catastrophe and of course...getting  a beejer from a star fucker.  Dumb bastard.

Is that a plane hitting the World Trade--Ooo...a squirrel.

      Holy shit!  This fucking guy.  He trashed the economy, tossed us into a war and then gave his buddies a huge payout courtesy of tax payers as he left office...all while giving us all the finger.  Plus, he did it all while not being able to form a coherent sentence without stuttering or coming off like a mentally defective dip shit.  This fuckin' guy should have been our first clue that "The Right" have had a glue sniffing problem for a while.

Executive Action:  It's 5 o'clock EVERYWHERE

      Obamacare, that didn't go far enough.  No prosecutions for the big bank blow up.  Plus, he's partially black, which scares all the old white folks.  While it's true he was up against a Congress of equally scared old white men, he deported more people than what history will show to be one of our worst presidents (George W. "What The Fuck Just Happened?!" Bush), so meh to him. MEH I SAY!

      So, I could see why the "right-wingers" are a little over zealous.  If had only been this build up, we might have had to deal someone like Newt Gingrich.  Instead, "righties" go all Trump with it.  Maybe it's because they need to...

Stop Believing Everything Rush Limbaugh And His Ilk Tell You




One of these fellas is a complete dumb ass, 
the other two wish they were half that smart.  
You decide who is who.

      I'll admit, I listen to their shit.  I'm not proud, but it's entertainment for me.  It gets me riled up and pissed off, sometimes enough to do research to find out how completely fucking wrong all of them are about everything.  It's just entertainment however, as literally everything they say is contradicted in one way or another at least one or two minutes later.  

      Where they drove the right-wing nut jobs is directly into the arms of a complete waste of a human being called Donald Trump.  How?  By playing their audiences like muppets, is how.  Were the conservatives racists before?  Yeeeaahhhhweeell...kinda, sorta.  You couldn't really pin it directly ON that, but now?  Yeah.  It's because Rush and his clones made it okay to hate everyone that wasn't rich and white.  They dumbed down the economic minutiae, diplomatic bi-partisan communication and social applications of government to "us versus them".  And they did it just to make money.

      How can anyone with a functioning brain not decipher these huckster dip shits for what they are?  They're shock jocks who figured out that if you say enough horrific wrongly wrong things, tell people it's about politics and you'll get an audience out of it.  Either stupid asses that take what they say as gospel, the other side who takes everything they say as a personal defamation or people that like to hear rich white with microphones people puff on cigars while abusing prescription drugs (I'm lookin' at you Rush.) make up their money market.

      Do not listen to these blatantly fuck headed assholes.  You're only doing a disservice to Republicans, but (as you can see with Trump and Cruz) a disservice to the U.S.  Well, unless you can tell that they're really loud mouthed, carnival barkers who peddling shitty home security systems/herbal Viagra/pillows to make a quick buck, then light a cigar, pop some Oxycontin and chuckle for a few hours.  Let the anger flow.

There are a group of people who ignored the slew of bad omens, ignored all the signs and listened intently to dumb asses.  Now, we have this fuckin' guy:

 
This is where they say my brain should be. What do they know?  
They're losers.
 I'll prove them wrong by making Mexico buy me one!

      The claim is that, The Donald, has made it this far to send a message to "The Establishment".  It's the wrong message, unfortunately.  It's a message that screams, "We want an unqualified, egotistical bigoted moron to represent us as a people...on the planet Earth."  And "The Establishment" could care less (they're still trying to figure out why Jeb Bush didn't work out)...it's the whole world is hearing it instead.  Everyone.  Sure you can prattle on about how much you don't care what the world thinks, but everyone knows you do.

Seriously?  The guy couldn't keep a casino open.  A fucking casino.  You know...the "business" we're all comfortable with taking our money...openly...for fun?  He dicked that up.  He dicked up running a place that takes people's money for THEIR enjoyment and entertainment.

      It's time to stop acting stupid, America.  It's time to be great again and tell wind bag dumb asses like Trump to sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up and send the right message to "The Establishment" and the world...which is..."We're sorry, our political parties are out of touch at the moment.  If you leave leave your name and number, we'll get back to you...once we've slapped their stupid asses back into reality.  Thank you for your patience."

15 Excruciating Minutes of Pop Radio Part 2

      The first part of this writhing bit of hell is waaay over here--->PART ONE! You should probably read that first, lest your brain implode with the force of a thousand suns. So, now, my harrowing trek through the wasteland that is..

15 Excruciating Minutes of Pop Radio: Part 2

"Starships" and Some Other Shit Song

Hmm...should I show tits...or ass next? Damn all these decisions!

      "Starships" is a suck ass song by Nicki Minaj. The song is a sweet little ditty about...something about motherfuckers and has nothing to do with starships. It's played every day around the world at least a million times. Every one of those times...is too many fucking times. To me, this song represents everything that's wrong with pop music. It has no discernible content and what it does have for substance is confusing and blatantly retarded. It's almost an offense to naturally born retarded folks and people that made themselves retarded via drugs and head injuries. 

      It's repetitious to the point of it's use for psychiatric experiments determining the limits of sanity is currently being studied by the FDA and military. Frankly, if this shit doesn't get a terrorist talking, whilst sobbing, nothing will. 

      It's sung in a whiny ear hating, grating mind rapey way that might drive a man to--kill--until the hurt stops. Unfortunately, the rest of humanity tends to lean in the "It's number 8 on the charts because we love it, so, suck it Elton!", well, you're stupid so there. Okay. Maybe not totally, there is one redeeming quality...Nicki Minaj.

My only critique for the video? It' needs more jumping.

      I have nothing against Nicki Minaj. I want to bone her...a lot. Just as much as every other red blooded straight male, who's capable of getting a boner wants to. It's not her, fine ass and titties, that I find awful, it's her music that I find terrible, that's the thing. 

      This song is a hate anthem aimed at quality music. 98% of it, is the chorus, the other 2% is comic mumbling that sounds like a stuttering seven year old on too much Ritalin. Though, when you do read the lyrics, you realize that the stuttering is from 20 something year old on too much Ritalin,weed and Bud Light. I liked to imagine she was yammering on about politics or a deep philosophical diatribe,  perhaps, a verse about...doing me...while on a trapeze, but, half way through completing it, started having a stroke/seizure mid sentence. 

She's even hot during an aneurysm.

      What the fuck happened to music? Modern pop doesn't consist of songs anymore. There's no artistry to it. It's simply a chorus, with a shitty "hook" in a loop laid over a repetitive drum beat. It's like they don't even try anymore. Oh and sweet trapeze Nicki isn't the only one. Rihanna has a shit song out about...humping in a lonely place...or something. I don't know what it's about, because it's a chorus...over a never ending drum beat. 

Has our sense of musicality degraded so much that we readily accept songs with just a chorus/hook repeated over and over? Don't we deserve some modicum of artistry and decent song writing from these people?

Pictured: artistry and decent song writing

Keyboards of The 80's!

Photographic proof of...lame.

      Keyboards are lame, what can I say. Wait. Not just lame, but, sad too,very...very sad. There was a time, back in the 1980's when keyboards and their bastardized, down syndrome saddled brother, the "keytar" ruled over the music landscape. It seemed like every song had a keyboardist...fucking it up. Then, as if to demonstrate it's pomposity and overtly prominent shittiness, the keyboard, for a time, became the whole band. 

The horror of keyboarding as a substitute for sex. Gruesome.

      It's like some producer, whose name is lost to history, decided, "Hey, these fuckin' keyboards is amazin'! They make dem drum sounds, bass sounds AND piano sounds. Send all these other fuckin' instruments home. Boys, this little machine just changed everything. Play everything on keyboard, guys. EVERYTHING!". Then, lightning split the sky and thousands of keyboardists everywhere smiled evil, toothy grins and fanned out to infiltrate and fucking, fuck every fucking song of the 80's with their shitty electro sounds.

      Being that they could produce a multitude of sounds styles, it's obvious why they were so popular. Used in moderation, they can even add to a songs texture and musicality. It's over using them that makes them sound like someone went through the toy instrument aisle with a bulldozer.

       What also eludes me...what made anyone think they could look cool playing one? No one has ever looked cool playing a keyboard...ever. Especially a fucking "keytar". Holy fuck, the guy that invented that think died a lonely, under sexed and decapitated, I hope anyway. The "keytar" is often seen with the mullet and "Hammer pants" as the antidote, for getting too much sex. Horrifically, it's making a come back. Which single-handedly proves the world is slipping into another dark age of thoughtless non-music devoid of penile or vaginal awesomeness. Even women playing keytars or keyboards look ridiculous. Unless they're playing topless...then, it's sexy and ridiculous.

Told you.

      Using a keyboard in moderation isn't so bad, it's when it's goofy synthetic strings settings and "oop, tisk, oop, tisk" noodling are substituted for drums that kill me. It's the musical equivalent of beating a man to death with a Nerf bat, it takes forever and when you're done, you feel like you've been cheated out of a more gratifying experience. Besides, the guy just ends up walking away, lightly bruised and confused. What did it really accomplish in the end? Nothing. Fucking keyboards.

Bruno Mars Is The Smartest Man In Pop

Genius...bitches.

      Bruno Mars, that doe eyed man-boy, who sings songs that make women spontaneously ovulate and hump couch pillows. What a guy. If vaginal sex was sold by the ounce, Bruno Mars would have a warehouse full of it. Yet, his boyish good looks pump out gay vibes, like a t.v. stuck between the Bravo channel and...some other channel where guys are blowing each other.

It is my firm belief that Bruno Mars sucks balls. Let's just get that out of the way. He sucks balls so big, you'd have to lift up Zeus's robes to find a bigger set, even then, they'd only be slightly bigger. 

      As much ball sucking as he does, I have to give the guy credit. He sings well and is pretty smart, in fact, he is the smartest plausibly gay prick in pop music. How, you ask? How is the modern Desi Arnaz a genius? I'd say it's due to his feminine pandering. The man writes songs that are timeless, in their pandering to women's low self esteem.

This came up when I searched for 

"confident woman". 

God bless you Google.

      Writing songs that tell women they're pretty "just the way they are" is just good business. Songs like that will be played until the end of time. If he's done his legal homework properly, Bruno Mars can look forward to his shitty songs paying him well into the end of time or the day when every woman is a super model. What a brilliant motherfucker! Tapping into a sensibility that will...barring every doctor spontaneously giving away plastic surgery and psychotherapy, will...literally...never, ever end. What girl or woman for that matter, doesn't like being called pretty? Holy shit! 

      Sure, people have written songs about women being pretty, but, I have yet to find one that says it so plainly in such a girl friendly way. It's fucking stunning in it's simplicity. Now, all he has to do is write an equally good song for gay folks, straight guys and fetish types and he's golden. My suggestions:; fetish song; something about liking your balls crushed, gay song...something about sucking balls...straight song...something about women wanting to fuck them, regardless of obvious ugliness and pot bellies...and that they want to suck on their balls. 

Fuck, Bruno Mars sucks. I wish I had his wallet though. Bruno Mar's wallet...doesn't suck balls.