Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Seven Billion People In Pools Filled With Jello.

      The world's population is hitting or has hit seven billion people now. You know what that means, other than a lot more asshole, idiots walking the planet? Well, not a whole hell of a lot, besides, more people drinking water, eating food, burning dead dinosaurs for their pimped out rides and doing insane amounts of drugs. I myself, as a confessed people hater, think it's all bullshit. Seven billion?! That's unimaginable. It's like trying to visualize a stupid ass thought exercise. Like, the kind teachers or magazines use to try an dumb down information into something we "morons" understand. For instance, "How many plastic bottles are used every year". You know the: "We use SO much that if they were stacked one on top of the still wouldn't give a flying fuck and will probably use more to spite this." exercise. Can anyone actually imagine shit like this? Has anyone actually thought about people, eating enough jello, to fill up some arbitrary amount of Olympic sized swimming pools? If so...what the fuck is wrong with you? Get a goddamn hobby. I mean shit. Pick up a drug habit or start knitting sweaters for the newly arrived human horde or something. What the fuck is an Olympic sized pool anyway? Is it different from a regular pool? You can shit in both, so it doesn't matter.

Yummy, yummy pool turds!

      Seven billion mouth breathing sacks of skin...on one planet. Holy shit. The reports say that the seven billionth person will be born in an Asian country. Which, going with their track record for humping is like saying the cake left on a table at fat camp will be eaten by a fat fucking kid. Those crazy Asians fuck a lot! Which is bullshit. Not that I have anything against Asians. I would feel the same if it was any group of people who overly fuck. It's just a horrendous mess. Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm not one of these idiots whose all screamy bitch, bitch about "population control" and our precious "resources" being siphoned away by an every growing mass of people. We're animals...literally. We eat, drink, sleep, shit and survive just like every other animal on this planet. As a species we are built for consuming. It's our nature. I don't dispute that. That's what we do...and we do it well. Okay, maybe not well, more like a one man wrecking crew. Better yet, like the vigilante ex-cop who walks into a crack house and kills everyone who isn't bullet proof. He's messy and inefficient, but, he get's the job done. Luckily, we just happen to be on the top of the mountain for a time. That's cool, right? Well, let's live it up! Hell, it's only a matter of time before a virus/plague/radioactive isotope that makes our genitals fall out of our bodies, shows up and kills us all and knocks us off "awesome species mountain". Well, that or the insects, rats and dolphins get fed up with our shit and rise up. Which, I figure with current trends, should be some time in the next fifty years...give or take a decade.

Maybe their leader will get shit done!

      I am actually on the fence about the whole thing. I don't know whether to not give a shit...or not give two shits. Either way, someone's not getting their shits...and it's not going to go over well. I find myself in a bit of a conundrum. Actually, I'm torn between my wanting to be moan the "over population" aspect and wanting to watch the whole of society, reality and just...shit in general being ripped asunder and fall to tatters, due to all those lovely, nice planetary scourges newly joining us. Fucking people. I might whine about over population because that means, there's just more fucking people than I'd like to fucking deal with. People, like money, just mean "mo' problems". I enjoy a good bout of silence now and then, wide open spaces and watching a beautiful sun set roll down, behind the horizon,...without all the ugly fucking people in the way...peopleing up everything with their...peopleness. Plus, new people means, new babies. Do you know how many ugly babies there are out there? A fucking lot. 

At least...MOST of them will look like this.

      On the other hand, I do love a good anarchistic nightmare. I mean, people tearing each other over a cup of water that only vaguely smells of piss, that's a good show! There's nothing quite like a turf war, when starvation is on the line. You thought land wars about whose "God kicks more ass" were bad, imagine when it's a few hundred thousand people wanting pudding (I don't mean slang for pussy!). Imagine people who haven't eaten for a few weeks, bearing down on your skinny ass because they heard a rumor. A rumor you might have rubbed up against a Big Mac recently. Now they want a piece of your (possibly) Big Mac smellin' ass. Not that you actually have food, but, because there's the possibility you might. Holy shit, pay per view (if it is still around after everyone shifts attention from entertainment to not dying) is going to be EPIC! 

This is the prize my friend...prepare to die.

      Horrendous, nightmare scenarios aside. The population climbing to seven billion is a big deal. It could seriously lead to some pretty awful shit. Things like, food shortages, wars, lack of drinking water, more expensive sneakers. All of those could be a potentially huge problem. Though, I think we'll be just fine. We just have to figure out a plausible, logical way to deal with everyone. It might take sharing of ideas, resources and patience to really steer the way toward a future that's comfortable for all of us. I'm sure that, we, as a race can come to terms with our own needs and find a way to fill them accordingly. It's worked well for us in the past...I don't see why it wouldn't work in building a prosperous future for us all...

Oh yeah...we suck ass at logic, sharing and peace. Shit.