Fucking Subjects and The Inglorious Research

      Being a geek is stressful. You have to maintain an inordinate amount of information, about subjects no one but, fellow geeks, give two shits about. It's a retarded burden that is, at times, too much to bear. Why bring this up? Well, I just sat through, an hour and twenty minutes of cinematic eye poison that no one should be subjected to, all in the name of writing an article. Sure, there are a lot of fruitless things with far worse consequences, than just wasting time on the movie equivalent to AIDS, but, not many. People in general don't like to waste time, unless it's in a hot tub they own, with their genitals being caressed, by an attractive person they want to hump a lot. I am not one of those people.

I was going to put a picture of a drag queen in here, 

as a kind of "best of both worlds" hot tub joke, but, 

this is what Google found, when 

I searched for "hot drag queen". 

No Joke.

      Looking up crazy, yet oddly specific, factual, subject matter has consumed a lot of my internet time as of late. Shit, even my web porn "search-a-plenty" has taken a hit. I'm surprised I haven't received some kind of "concern letter" regarding the drop in traffic, from the proprietors of "hot celebrity nip slip" web sites. Though, I still receive a fair amount of "appreciation letters" from the owners of "bangin' grannies" sites...and rightly so. When you devote, what amounts to months of time, to a specific endeavor, you should expect some kind of recognition for loyalty. Regardless, I have been looking up a tons of shit about shit. Shit that goes largely unseen. All of this searching is, in the end, for one thing, we as a people, all seek out. More...and more money. The Almighty Green God. Bless the mighty dollar and it's unjust ruling of us all...with it's iron fisting gloriousness. It's got us by the collective nuts...and twists oh so brutally. Bow and squeal, people!

Here's a little something for your trouble...and

 would you buy some fucking underwear 

with it for fucks sake? You're scaring me.

      Ball sack yanking aside, money is motherfucking important. Since I, like us all, have next to none of it, I'm using every trick in the book to try and get more. Writing seems to be skill I can pimp to the, unwashed and sexually deprived, internet masses and I'm happy to do it. Though, it doesn't pay dick, I'll tell you that. If you're looking to break into the writing game, stick to what you know and don't expect to get paid. Try sending letters to Penthouse and unwitting celebrities, like Steve Guttenburg. Hell, combine them and write a Penthouse style letter TO Steve Guttenburg. The Gutte loves letters, especially those that directly reference his penis. How would I know that? It says so, right there in my restraining order, "...with the exception of correspondence directly referencing Mr. Guttenburg's penis.". I never sent him such a letter. My letters were more or less asking for him to read my "Police Academy 8: Dead in Space" script. It's a film noir, political thriller/bio pic with funny elements worked in...in space. Well, as an example, I have a scene where Mahoney gets duped into a dark office...in space during a reunion...in space. He bends over, splits his pants (because he's old and fat, funny right?), then, he's raped by the occupants of the formerly "Blue Oyster Bar", now "Blue Oyster Rape Bar". It's all done off camera, of course. It's not a fucking porn movie, nasty ass. I'm saving the hardcore fucking for my "Police Academy 9: Hardcore Fucking...on Patrol!" script.  

I wonder if The Gutte still has those shorts. 

I might work them into number 9.

      The great whirl wind of research has swallowed my time, whole, and vurped in my face. What a bitch. Alas, there are worse things people do to make money. I could prepare children to be coke mules, but, the hours suck and there's all that fucking whining. You'd think that if they missed their parents so much, they wouldn't have signed up to run drugs. So, I'll suck it up and read through masses of internet articles to find one sentence or paragraph that works for me in the mean time. Until I find an actual job that is. It's something anyway. Oh, that reminds me, if anyone has any suggestions for an interesting subject, feel free to tell me. I have a hell of a time thinking of shit. The part of my brain reserved for such matters was removed to make room for masturbation fuel and "what not to pee on while in Mexico" factoids. So, if you have anything, let me know. Until then, I'm off to the heavy reading and computer screen invoked migraines. Damnit.

Fucking words.