Monday, March 5, 2012

Sluts On The Radio

      As the old saying goes, pimping ain't easy. Whoever said that...wasn't doing it right. Though, it is hard, when what you're pimping is borderline unfuckable. Especially when the whore is a beat up wreck of a person, with a drug habit, no teeth and lack of sexual skill due to being incredibly fat. This holds true, oddly enough, for radio d.j.'s. You know...the guys that iPods, iTunes and all manner of digital media are replacing? It's a shame really. I used to be an avid radio listener.

      I'd stay up late at night, listening, while reading Hustlers, smoking cigarettes and gambling. Those are grade school memories that will last forever. And until the big switch from radio to "thinking for myself" came around, I tuned in. During my tenure as a radio listener, I learned a lot of valuable lessons about life, politics and society in general. A few I learned were...One--everyone can hear you when you sing in your car...everyone, two--only people that call in once win the contest, the people that call repeatedly just get busy signals and three--the only way to become famous as a d.j. is to piss off....everybody.

Yeahhh...I just called your mom a shit bag who s
ucks off horses in her spare time for Mexican rodeo 
clown's amusement. I dare you to 
tell your friends and neighbors I said it.

      That's just the schtick of every "shock jock" type. Gauge what the pulse of the public...and do whatever it takes to fuck with said public using that pulse. Take the people's likes or dislikes and either extremely like and dislike it...or go full tilt the other way. It's shock jock bread and butter and I'm surprised there's still a market for it...or even an audience who doesn't realize it. Sure, it's entertainment, but, so is a hill billy cleaning a questionably loaded gun. Eventually, when there's no bloodshed the shit gets old fast. Kind of  like...well...the shits. Sure, they're convenient at first, your normal shit time is cut in half and you might even lose some weight. Eventually, though, your ass hole starts hurting and you can't sleep because you're afraid you'll shit the bed. Fun time is over! 

The last man whose diet consisted 
entirely of Mexican and Indian cuisine. 
God rest his liquid shit soul.

      What really kills shock jock horse shit, is hypocrisy. Calling people out for horse shit you, yourself, are guilty of. It's the dumbest fucking thing in the world, that and shitting yourself on purpose. Both equally stupid. Shock jocks do it all the time, though, I'm not sure about the self shitting. The political pricks especially (self shitting included). Lately, it's been Rush Limbaugh. He called a woman, who spoke to congress about the inclusion of contraception in private insurance health care packages...or some shit. Rush Limbaugh chose, instead of rebutting her stance with something akin to facts...or even rational thought,  chose, instead, to go the super shit head political shock route. Which is..."when in doubt and it's a her a slut". I'm sure the only reason he didn't say cunt rag was out of his respect for women...and his cunt rag mother. 

Rush's mother seen here greeting visitors to Disneyland.

      Rush Limbaugh is a drug addict. Anyway he slices it, he still comes out a pill popping asshole. Why would you continually throw yourself to the wolves by making wildly fuck head accusations and nonsense? Particularly, when you have the "I'm a fat, famous for drug addiction" yolk hanging on you like a hemorroid. His prescription is practically tattooed on his ass. It takes a special kind of stupid to talk shit after that. The kind of stupid that compels a man to chop off a foot, because he can't readily find his other shoe. It's the kind of stupid that causes plants to die and Asian men to favorably compare themselves equal in dick size to black men. It's the kind of stupid...that balds a man....and steals his soul. 

The kind that makes a man put phallic things 
in his mouth...and then hate on gay people. 

      I could go on forever on how Rush is a fat fucking idiot, but, eventually, you'd get tired of it. Really, him being a fat tard has little to do with what I'm talking about. It's more about drawing a line. Though, not a line regarding decency, because, really, haven't we all crossed it? There are douche' commercials and hard dick pills on kid's channels these days. I think we passed up decent a generation or two ago. What I'm talking about is, being a vice toting moron...and yet, belittling others for the same, if not equivalent vices. More over, belittling someone who has yet to reveal any such vices, yet, you carry glaring indiscretions yourself. It's painfully stupid. A fist full of stupid. Dammit, it's a fist full of stupid...ejaculating on a retarded mound of hopes it sprouts a tree...of tard berries. 

The tree of stupid...this time
 with more dumb ass in every bite!

      Why, do we, as a nation, put up with shit like this from assholes on the radio or t.v. for that matter? Shouldn't we call foul on something like this...or at least leave a bag of shit on his doorstep to retaliate? It's just out of hand now. Soon, and I hate to pull the Hitler card, but, I'm tired and Hitler pops into my head when I think of stupid hate monger. (even more so when I'm tired, him and Oscar the Grouch), they'll be spouting about how Hitler had the right idea and cloning him would bring back shit like Hugo Boss uniforms, bitchin' jazz and tooth brush mustaches. Does it have to get that far? Perhaps, we should just buy more MP3 players, plug them into our efficient cars and forget the Limbaugh pricks ever existed. It's a shame that people like that sully the good name of argument. I like to argue. Especially about shit that I have very little affect on, like the government. It allows me to vent frustration and anger,  that I'd otherwise devote to hunting animals to extinction and distributing cigarettes to school children.  


  1. Let's just hope that they don't figure out that we're willing to pay them to keep their mouths shut. But, I swear that these shock jocks concoct these ridiculous ideas in their dark sound cubby without ever leaving their layer. It's like they never have to leave their studio becuse they feed solely off of my rage.

    1. I just wish they would shut the fuck up and play music. I'd love to listen to Rush Limbaugh get funky fresh on the wheels of steel. I bet he can cross fade the fuck out of some beats.

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