Wednesday, May 9, 2012

A to Z Blogging Challenge: Reflection and Ball Scratching

      This year, as you may know, I participated in the "A to Z Blogging Challenge". It was a challenge to blog on a different topic every day in April. The subjects would correspond to a letter in the alphabet and be interesting enough to not make people vomit from sheer boredom. I failed on most of these fronts, of course. However, I did learn quite a few valuable lessons about me, the subjects I wrote about and the multitude of bloggers that I encountered during the course of the challenge. Here are a few highlights...

Jennifer Aniston highlights...

      Bone-able Jennifer Aniston aside, there were a lot of interesting things that occurred. My confused fear and anger of senior citizens was somewhat confirmed, the discovery of more hilarious blogging weirdos and a reevaluation of my "internet self" all occurred because of this wonderful challenge. Let me elaborate, before all the gray haired ancients turn their aging devil eyes upon me and cause me to spontaneously com-bust. 

      In review, I shouldn't have been surprised...some old folks are just...old. Meaning, that they tend to carry a view of the world that is of a bygone era. It happens to everyone as they get older. It's the reason I'll never get into or understand the music of LMFAO or the popularity of "The Hangover" parts one and deux. To me, they're both examples of things that should have their right to exist revoked...due to their severe and criminal retardation. Yet, people older than me feel that bands like Pearl Jam and Radiohead are reprehensible and movies like "Young Frankenstein" are funny only to assholes...degenerate fucking assholes.

      So, when it was proposed to me, by a "senior member of our society", that I should warn people about the language I used in my blog, I "laughed my fucking ass off". This is the internet, not a shitty old folks kennel your family forgot you in, people curse here. 

      Oh, and there's also ass-load of porno. Strangely enough, some of those involve actual ass-loads, so, yeah, there's that. Listen, I feel that if you found this blog and read enough of it, you'd see that my language isn't the primary focus of what I write about (it's my infantile psyche and idiotic disposition toward my own penis that are on full display here). 

      If you read any of this, hit the word fuck and immediately feel the Devil searing your eyes with shame, get off the internet. It's only going to make you touch yourself. Believe me, the last thing I want is old, church going grannies poking and groping in a way they should have done decades before, but, didn't because they felt Jesus was watching from the closet or something. It just makes me feel sad, filthy and...somewhat aroused inside...and after that confused. You don't want that...I don't want that. No one wants that.

Ewwwww...Grannie touching know.

      Old people's hang ups aside, I also discovered a lot about who I am on the internet and what I want to accomplish. I'm still new to all of this blogging stuff. It's a sweet gig. I've made a couple of bucks here and there and would love to branch out. I like doing this. I've decided to really work hard to deliver more as well, be it podcasting, vlogging or more. 

      Yet, I find myself often confronted with writers block. As it was never an issue before (I only wrote in notebooks or dirty letters to dead celebrities), I never gave it much thought. The A to Z Challenge really held it up to my face and forced a confrontation. I had to figure out a way around it's sweaty, dangly bits to get a post out. It was a great exercise indeed. It taught me that, no matter what caused the writer's block, a quick jaunt to the strip bar would always get the creative and not so creative juices flowing. Either that or drink a Yoo Hoo while watching Seinfeld re-runs. Either of those would work.

Thank you, Seinfeld. You genius bastard...genius bastard.

      I also found a lot of inspiration among the many blogs I read, as part of the challenge. I'll admit that I am not as avid a blog reader as I'd like to be. I find myself quickly gravitating toward sites devoted to the self sex market when I'm on the internet. The blogs I do read are usually the one's I find the most interesting and funny...(Muppets For Justice, Chiz, The ever lovely Lily and Sick Bitch) and rarely take the time to investigate further. Yet, I was compelled to read more blogs for the challenge. I am very, very glad I did. I ran into a lot of really creative writers. Some of which put my meager offerings to shame. Without this challenge I might never have found them and may have gone the rest of my days never knowing of their awesomeness. Go figure...

Here are a couple...

With that...I'd like to thank you all for reading my blog and not peeing on the carpet. You'd be surprised how many unruly guests disregard that common sense etiquette. I hope that you were entertained and I hope to entertain you further in the future. I have a lot of ideas...and not all of them involve carving small statuettes of Eleanor Roosevelt. It's what you were thinking, I'm sure (it's what they ALWAYS think). I can assure you that was the furthest thing from my mind...maybe.


  1. I think the old people are right. Swearing is the leading injustice on the internet; you know, over child pornography, predator abductions, smut videos, and other frivolous misconducts.

    But in all seriousness, old people scare me as well. They've got nothing to lose, so that pretty much makes them capable of anything.

    Anyway, looking forward to seeing what your blog continues to put out, and thanks for the shout-out!

    1. Holy hell...old people don't have anything to lose do they. They are societies loose cannons! By god, man, you've opened my eyes to the "grey menace". For that, I thank you. I'll be arming myself against the wrinkled horde shortly, just as soon as I stock up on moth balls.

      The shout-out was well deserved, my friend. You're funny as hell.

  2. Ha ha! Best reflection post EVER!

    Never mind about swearing, I was practically accused of child abuse, with my posts about Spawn,
    There were very few posts that stood out in the challenge, the man above is one them, the few you've already mentioned and of course yours.

    To be honest with you, I was a bit intimidated by your writing, it was that good!

    Really cannot wait to see what's coming next. And THANK YOU for the mention. :)

    1. Child abuse?! Hahaha!

      There's certainly nothing intimidating about me, lovely. I write like a numbed zombie hurling a type writer. Actually, that's a fairly accurate description.

      You deserved the mention, believe me, you're effortlessly entertaining.

  3. Thank you for the mention. The way I gauge a good blog is by how much I want to kill the writer out of envy of their work. Your blog makes my massacre-nodes go into overdrive. This is probably why that old lady was so pissed off.

    1. I take your murderous impulse and I raise you a homicide. You are indeed my nemesis blog. Not in a bad way, just as a drive to push my hack writing to be as good as your un-hack writing.

      That old lady was pissed because she writes about animal detectives. Animal detective writers are always angry.


Comment. Lest your fear consume you, cry baby.